Monday, November 21, 2011

Is It Better to Have Loved and Lost…A Friend?

“Hearts will never become practical until they become unbreakable.” - Wizard of Oz
“To have memories of those you have loved and lost is perhaps harder than to have no memories at all.” - Van Helsing

Most people who use the phrase “loved and lost” think of a relationship breaking up. But what if it really meant the death of a friend?
Are you better off - even in your grief - for having known your friend?
Do you wish you’d never met them, because the pain you feel now is so intense?
In other words, is the pain worth it?
There are certainly moments - especially when your grief is fresh - when you may think it’s not worth it.
But then who would you be?
My friends have shared their love of music, theatre, films and food with me. My friends have inspired me and frustrated me. My friends have gotten me into and out of trouble. My friends have made me laugh and made me cry. They’ve supported me, called me out when they thought I was an idiot, and challenged me to be a better person.
In short, our friends have made us who we are today.
Grief, they say, is the price you pay for love.
So don’t be surprised that you grieve when your friends die. It’s the price you pay for the love you shared with them: a price we should all be willing to pay.


2 comments:

Jodi Aman said...

Grief actually is love. It is a testimony to that love. We are so much better to have to the memories, Mr. Van Helsing. Like you say, we would be nothing without them.

Victoria Noe (@friendgrief) said...

Thanks for your comment, Jodi. It's definitely the price we pay for love, isn't it?