The New 9/11 Memorial

There aren’t a lot of quiet places in New York City. So when I considered the building of a 9/11 Memorial on the site of the World Trade Center, I was skeptical. With the West Side Highway on one side, and Manhattan high rises, stores and construction on the other three, the Memorial seemed doomed. It would be swallowed up, a place where grief would be distracted by jackhammers, sirens and car horns.

I was wrong.

Yesterday I visited the new 9/11 Memorial. By now you’ve probably seen photos of the two waterfalls, in the footprints of the towers, and the futuristic building that will serve as the entrance to the Museum when it opens next year.

The final design took years of arguing, negotiating and compromise. Michael Arad, the designer, was initially quite angry about changes suggested and finally made to his original design. But he has since agreed that the final product works.

When you walk onto the site, you are greeted by wide walkways and occasional low, stone seating. There are rows of swamp oak trees, presumably hardy since they survived the recent hurricane. Off to one side is the “Survivor Tree”, a Callery Pear tree so named because it survived the attacks. For the past ten years, it has been lovingly nurtured back to life, and now stands apart from the other trees, protected by steel cables anchored into the ground. On this third day of the Memorial being open, the tree was already the recipient of gifts of flowers, prayer cards and a teddy bear.

The two waterfalls are separated by the building that will house the entrance to the Museum. That building, as well as the trees, serves to separate the Memorial from the outside world, providing a buffer of security. Although construction on the four new towers will continue for another 2-3 years, when completed, those buffers will be even more important.

I knew the waterfalls fell to 30 feet, but pictures do not convey the beauty and power of this design. It’s deceptively simple, but elegant in its way. Unbeknownst to the designers, when the light hits the waterfall at a certain time of day (not when I was there), rainbows appear, a fitting tribute, don’t you think?

When you stand there, you really are not distracted by noises or sights. Imagine the Vietnam Memorial in Washington being plunked down in the middle of DuPont Circle. It would give you a completely different - and not good - experience. But this works well.

There are Memorial staff walking around, available to answer questions and direct visitors to the kiosks where you can look up names and locations. They also have materials to use - free - to make rubbings of the names.

A high school classmate of mine died in the south tower, and I wanted to make a rubbing to give to our school. The paper they provide is not regular paper; it’s more like fabric, soft and pliant. You’re given three long pieces, along with a thick, black crayon. My friend and I carefully made two rubbings, and used the third piece to wrap them.

I don’t think you get a sense of the number of names, like you do at the Wall. But you definitely get a sense of the size of the hole - literally and figuratively - that was left by the attack.

We can only hope that the area remains as un-commercialized as it is now. I assume any “gift shop” will be inside the Museum, and out of site of the Memorial.

Like any cemetery or memorial, the 9/11 Memorial can evoke strong reactions. My friend said he felt nauseous when we first arrived, remembering that almost 3,000 people died on that spot. I felt nervous and tense. I warned him ahead of time that he could expect me to cry, and I did: not just for Carol, not just for the others who died, but for all of us who lost their innocence that day.

Don’t take my word for it: see it for yourself.

9/11 Memorial

Friend Grief and the 10th Anniversary of 9/11

And now, as they say, a programming note:

I will be writing from New York City starting September 7^th, on the 10^th anniversary observances of 9/11.

I’m there for two reasons: First, one chapter in my book covers people who lost friends on 9/11; some of those stories also pop up elsewhere in the book. Second, one of my high school classmates died in the South Tower, and I’m going to hear her name read at the Naming Ceremony (hopefully, pronounced correctly this year), and to see her name engraved on the new 9/11 Memorial.

I’ll be looking at the anniversary from a number of different perspectives: how the arts and different faiths are observing it, for example. You can expect me to point out how some are making money off the anniversary, too (my ‘favorite’ last year were the people dressed up like NYPD and FDNY lottery balls).

I also have a terrific guest blogger on September 11, whose website you can check out at Damon DiMarco. He’s written a beautiful prayer that I’m honored to share with all of you.

My blogging schedule is as follows:

9/7 – Preserving Stories

9/8 – Tourism and Souvenirs, 9/11-style

9/9 – The Guys

9/10 – 110 Stories

9/11 – Guest post by Damon DiMarco, author of Tower Stories: An Oral History of 9/11

9/12 – Ground Zero, 10 Years Later

9/13 – The Buddhists and the Brits: how other cultures and faiths commemorate 9/11

9/14 – The New 9/11 Memorial

There will be lots of pictures, as well as links to organizations doing good work supporting first responders and others whose health was impacted, as well as those preserving our memories. Not surprisingly, there have been some 9/11 charities that turned out to be nothing more than scams or blatant sales promotions. Be assured that the professional fundraiser in me has vetted all the nonprofit organizations that (ever) appear on this site.

So, if you are determined to avoid any and all reminders of 9/11, I understand. I’ll see you back here on the 16^th. I’ll be sharing thoughts on friend grief from unlikely sources, like Winnie the Pooh. Otherwise, join me for the next week or so for a look at how we grieve our friends lost on that clear, blue Tuesday ten years ago.

Naming Names: The 9/11 Memorial



Northeast Corner of the South Pool





I’m old enough to remember the very heated controversy over Maya Lin’s Vietnam Memorial design: the names of the dead etched in stark, black stone. How depressing! How disrespectful! Now, its “naming” focus is one that is copied the world over, including the new 9/11 Memorial, opening to the public on September 12.

I visited “The Wall” in 1988. The Vietnam War shaped my youth, particularly high school and college. I stopped at the kiosk, got my paper and pencil, made a donation and set off to find the names of the two guys I’d grown up with. It had been 20 years since Ernie Sanazaro died, but it was still surprising to see his name there, so final, so permanent. I had a crush on him at one time, and his death, near my 16^th birthday, was a shock. When I got back home, I wrote to his sister, asking if she’d like the rubbing (I didn’t want to just mail it to her without warning). As it turned out, she was grateful, and I sent it off to her.

Today I reserved my ticket to visit the new 9/11 Memorial this September. I’ll be in New York for all the 10^th anniversary events, to finish that chapter in my book. Last year, although I’d been to Ground Zero before, the memorial events I went to had quite an effect on me. I wound up spending one whole day literally talking to no one except when ordering my meals. I didn’t expect to be so overwhelmed.

This Memorial, too, will include the names of all the victims etched in stone. I already know where to find Carol’s name, so I won’t have to wander around. I’d seen her name years ago, on the posters around the site. But this time, it will be permanent.

I reserved two tickets, one for me and one for someone to go with me. I immediately emailed a friend in New York. If he can’t go, I’ll find someone else because I don’t think I want to go alone. I suspect the emotions this year will run even deeper; “big” anniversaries tend to do that.

Two months from today, the papers and internet and TV will be full of stories about 9/11: reruns of original broadcasts, interviews, surveys, retrospectives, commentaries, observances. When you’re tempted to ignore it, remember those who lost someone that day – family, friend, co-worker.

To learn more about the National September 11 Memorial and Museum, or to make ticket reservations, go to www.911memorial.org.