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Happy birthday, Mare |
When I was addressing Christmas cards the other day,
I paged through my address book (yes, I still have an actual address book).
Every time I turned to a new page, I said to myself “he’s dead” or “she’s dead”
or “they’re both dead”. I don’t know about you, but I can’t bring myself to get
a new address book. That would mean not putting in names of friends and family
who are no longer with us. Stupid, I know, but I guess I like the reminders
when I open it up. This year, though, it seemed like there were a lot fewer
people getting cards from me.
Facebook has been a great help, for those times I’ve
forgotten about someone’s birthday. In “Events”, the birthdays of my Facebook
friends are listed. I’m warned a week in advance and the day before. Sometimes
I’m ahead of the game, sometimes I have an “oh, shit” reaction to having forgotten.
The day before, I get a reminder that the next day
is someone’s birthday. That’s what happened yesterday, when Facebook reminded
me that Christmas Eve is Mary Ellen’s birthday. I didn’t need reminding; it’s
not the kind of date that anyone’s likely to forget. The problem is that Mary
Ellen died in February.
Why did I get the reminder? Because her Facebook
page is still here. No one had posted on it since right after her death, but
this morning, the page is filling up with birthday wishes. The grief felt by
those left behind is obviously still very raw, but the love is stronger.
The holidays are a time of reflection, no matter
your religious persuasion. Take a few minutes this week and drag out that
address book (or check it on your phone), scroll through your friends list on Facebook.
Raise a glass to those who died recently or those who are long gone. And vow to
keep their memory alive for another year.
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