“I think about her every day.”
When she typed this, it had been five years since
Delle died.
“I think about her every day” doesn’t mean she
thinks about her in a sad way, of course. It might mean that she simply walks
by Delle’s apartment building, or sees a gun-metal grey PT Cruiser like the one
Delle used to drive. Something triggers a memory.
There are times when I walk into the coffee house we
used to frequent and even now, six years later, I’ll look around,
half-expecting her to be holding court as she nurses a green tea latte.
Is that grieving or not?
The incredible First
Selectman of Newtown, Connecticut, Patricia Llodra, has begun the delicate
process of removing public memorials to the children and adults murdered at
Sandy Hook Elementary School. Concerned that the flowers, teddy bears and other
gifts were ruined in recent storms, she gave the order that they be removed –
after the families of those lost had one last opportunity to visit the sites.
Is that grieving or not?
Soldiers talk about their lost comrades decades
after combat, memories sometimes tinged with survivor guilt.
Is that grieving or not?
There’s been much talk of the definition of
“healthy” grieving, as opposed to a grief that spirals downward into serious,
clinical depression. But I don’t think even the American Psychiatric
Association can define just how long – or how - we grieve our friends.
Throughout this coming year, we will look at ways
people remember their friends. They are as varied as the friendships
themselves, but all are about preserving memories: memories that sometimes
never move from bad to good. And we’ll look at the toll that can take.
Everyone grieves in their own way. You may be
surprised to find that you grieve people differently, depending on how close
your friendship. You may be surprised to find you grieve more than you expected
– or less.
We’ll be sharing lots of these stories, as well as
the publication of the six books in the Friend
Grief series (see the Books and Events pages for updates).
It’s going to be an exciting and interesting year
here on Friend Grief. I’m glad you’re
along for the ride!
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