Monday, January 9, 2012

Too Busy for Coffee, But Not For a Funeral

Metropolis Coffee House
My hangout since 2003
“Enjoy the little things in life for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” - Antonio Smith
 Lisa Athan has a blog,  Grief Speaks (you can also find her on Facebook). She wrote something that really resonated with me. It echoes those New Year’s resolutions we’re all struggling to keep right now.
“I do find it fascinating that we, as busy people living such hectic lives, who pride ourselves on multi-tasking, can drop everything to attend a funeral, yet so long as the person is alive, we decline invitations for lunch or coffee because we’re too busy. ‘Perhaps another time,’ we say. We tend to assume that there will always be a chance for another time.”
You don’t have to be a grief professional to know those words are sadly true. Grief is hard enough without guilt piled on top.
Later this week I’ll share a wonderful, sad story from a man whose friend died. He was lucky enough to see him before he died. But he was one of the busy ones, too busy for the 45 mile trip over Los Angeles freeways to get together with his friend. Now those 45 miles feel like 45 inches.
Maybe the physical distance between you and your friend is great - hundreds of miles, several states, an ocean. Maybe it’s not so great, but the logistics are just as daunting.
Well, lucky for us, we don’t live in prehistoric times. We live in a marvelous age where there are very few excuses for not staying in touch. Imagine: we can…
…write a letter.
…send an email.
…Skype.
…Tweet.
…DM on Facebook.
…pick up the phone.
…even show up on their doorstep.
So, your assignment today (if you choose to accept it) is to pick one friend you’ve fallen out of touch with; one friend you really miss.
Now pick one of those methods of communication.
And do it.
Don’t wait until you read the obituary in the paper, or have your emails bounce back. Do it today. Make a date for coffee.
It’s a lot more fun than going to a funeral.


3 comments:

diceyblog said...

Thanks for sharing this. "Don’t wait until you read the obituary in the paper, or have your emails bounce back. Do it today. Make a date for coffee. It’s a lot more fun than going to a funeral." --You're so right.

I can't believe how many phone numbers and email addresses I've had to delete lately because my friends are no longer even on this earth. I've seen way too many obituaries within the last 2 weeks of folks under 40. It really hurts.

Victoria Noe (@friendgrief) said...

I'm glad you stopped by. I felt the same way during the 80's and 90's, when so many people I knew died of AIDS (not just men).
I really made at effort at this last year, and I'm grateful for the deeper connections I have with them now.

kathleen said...

Viki, I love this reminder and can never hear it enough. Make the time now, today,soon before it's too late.My favorite line "45 miles feels like 45 inches." Thanks for another thought-provoking post!